Over the course of the last few months I have noticed that we live in a society of monologues.  I sat down to watch Grey’s Anatomy with my daughter , and it struck me that the show was just one more example of what I seem to see everywhere.  All of the characters on that show, in this one episode, seemed to be engaged in monologues.  Even when they were having moments of intimacy, they were musing about themselves!  What’s with that?

What’s with that , has very little to do with Grey’s Anatomy (which by the way I now pick over Gordon Ramsay yelling the *F* word at unsuspecting scullery cooks), but a great deal to do with life as we know it today.

Whereas so much of my life personally is reliant on the use of my trusted blackberry, text messaging and emails, I have long become immune to the fact that this medium lacks any emotion.  It is a way of expressing an immediate fact, a quick question, making a date etc.  Email lacks inflection and emotion, and falls flat onto the screen of the reader.  So much is left in the dark in email.  When we sat down to write letters to each other, or just picked up the telephone, we had a connectedness with the other person that we have now lost. 

My sister Elizabeth has a line at the end of her iphone messages .  It simply says “be kinder than necessary because everyone is fighting some kind of battle”.  At first I thought this was a direct comment to me, her rapid fire emailing sister.  Then I realised that she just has that attached to all her mail.  It seems trite, but it’s huge.  It’s huge enough that I wanted to share it with you.

Today before you press “send”, just take a second an re read your email.  I don’t care if you are a senior partner in Warren Buffet’s inner circle or just a regular person like me.  If you received what you were about to send, how would it sound?  One more thing, really throw people off.  Start your email with “How are you, (fill in name here)”  , and somewhere throw in one personal comment- something kind!!    One little something that lets them know that you know you are thinking of them as you write and focusing on their message.  You may think this sounds corny and that it will take too long.  It won’t take up any more of your time than it takes to get up and stretch or take one extra step to get to your desk.  It will set you apart from all the “monologuers” out there that exist in their own worlds.

This season is about kindness–why just this season I’m not sure–maybe it’s our annual kindness check up time.  You do not have to take everyone you know out for dinner, or buy them fancy gifts.  A little unusual kindness can make such a difference in someones day.

Before today is over, invite one person to have a cup of coffee with you- someone who might not suspect it.  This does not get substituted for dropping off a vanilla latte on someones desk.  Emails- seriously, ask after others.  You will touch them, and in todays day and age of life in monologue, that’s one of the only things that sets us apart.

I fell on a copy of Robert Fulghum’s , “All I needed to know I learned in Kindergarten” the other day.  I remember first hearing this quoted at a University of Toronto Convocation back in the ’80’s.  It spoke to me then and it speaks to me now.  It is somewhat idealistic but the message is clear.

Share everything.

Play fair.

Don’t hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Clean up your own mess.

 Don’t take things that aren’t yours.

Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Flush.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

Live balanced life – learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

Take a nap every afternoon.

When you go out into world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.

Be aware of wonder.

Robert Fulghum

And finally, when someone does do something kind for you, say “thank you!”

  Kindness really does abound, we need to just look out for it, embrace it, be thankful, and most of all–pay it forward.

Be kinder than necessary because everyone is fighting some kind of battle.

- Sherry Young via Elizabeth's iphone